This past weekend my husband's cycling team competed in the Double Century. I was part of the backup team and it was required of us to stay over in Montague as the race was in Swellendam.
With this obviously came the issue of do I withdraw from the support team and stay at home with my son, who is 1 year and 8 months old, or do I leave him with his nanny.
After much debate and anxiety we decided that I had fulfill my promise and go with the team.
My anxiety levels were very high on the day of departure as I was worried that Zach would wake up in the middle of the night and look for me and wake the whole neighborhood screaming for his mommy. After we said our goodbyes and I shed a whole bucket of tears we parted ways. The first night away from him was terrible as I hardly slept still worrying that he would be traumatized when I wasn't there. At the race the next morning I was like a zombie but when I called to check if all was well his nanny said that he slept right through the night and didn't even look for me.
WHAT he didn't look for me....he didn't even ask where we were? NO ...how dare he...lol
He was absolutely fine and all that worrying on my side was for nothing.... My little boy is no longer so little. I think that him growing up is more traumatizing for me and that his independence had come a little to soon as far as I am concerned. He is a real mommy's boy, I used to complain that he was too clingy and too dependent on me, now I'm wondering: " how long will it still last".
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